The super desk

This is what my desk in my room in Warabi looks like now.

I was a packrat for a long time. I loved collecting things like strange coins, electronic things that I could maybe someday use for my computer, books, dvd:s, cd:s etc. I rarely used any of it though. I watched maybe 5 of the dvd:s over and over (I had maybe 200), and never listened to the cd:s since I had everything on my computer and my mp3-player. I read the books and put them back in the shelf never to read them again, and I never used the electronics to fix my computer.

I often thought that buying the next cool thing I had my mind on would make my life happier and better, though I was always disappointed when I did, because it didn’t work. Not even temporarily. I tried to boost my mood by thinking “I really should be happy now, I just bought this thing I’ve longed for for so long!”, but that didn’t work either. What was wrong with me? 😦  Everyone else seemed to get happy when they bought those things they wanted.

Around half a year ago I was following my friend home from a wall climbing session when I opened my bag packed with stuff other than the wall climbing clothes I used. My friend smiled and said: “Your bag is quite the opposite of a minimalist bag”. I remembered having seen some person claiming to be minimalist on some community long ago and how weird she’d seemed, so I started whining on how silly minimalism was and that in this society it didn’t work, and so the complaints went on.

He didn’t argue back though, he just told me that he read some blog written by a guy living on a tropical island, owning only a few things, writing and running a lot. I thought it sounded pretty stupid but I asked for him to send me links to the blogs and I read through mnmlist in a few days and worked my way through most of zenhabits after that, and I was stunned.

Maybe my head wasn’t strange? Maybe my unconscious had realized even before I did it myself, that buying things wasn’t the source of happiness? The happiest times I can recall from my life is standing on stage with my bandplaying music, telling a girl that I like her and get a good response (seriously, that’s epic), or lying on the ground half dead after a really hard workout. None of my happy memories heir from buying anything, ever.

Nowadays when I get rid of something I don’t use, I feel the happy feeling that the old me thought I should’ve felt when I bought new things. I’m much more happy now and at peace with myself than I was before, and my life just keeps getting better!

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