These days when I’m having a conversation, I do my best to observe myself. What language do I use? Do Isound rude without meaning it? Do I sayunnecessarymocking things without thinking about it? How’s the tone of my voice?

I’ve heard many times that it’s not only the words that speak, and I agree, but if that’s true, you should try to pay attention to the way you speak as well, and don’t hope for the other person to be a mind reader. You probably wouldn’t like that either.

How do you feel when you’re talking to someone? Is it someone you don’t like? Is it someone you don’t know but you’ve heard bad things about? Maybe it’s even someone you’ve liked for a long time, but you’ve started to feel differently about her/him? People tend to say untrue things about others very often, often even without knowing it themselves. Therefor try to get your own picture of the person instead. Your mind also often gets into the bad habit of making you believe things that aren’t true about others, sometimes even without reason. Don’t listen to it, find out the truth yourself!

Another thing is substitutes or the leaving out of common but very handy words, like “thank you” and “you’re welcome“. For example, “good” is not a very good substitute for “thanks”. When you say “good”, you don’t express gratitude to the other person in a way that they probably expect (even though expectations are overrated, don’t expect everyone else to have the same opinion), and the person who did something may get disappointed or sad. It signals that the action done was good, not that the person is appreciated for performing it. I think it’s good not to pay too much attention to what words being said to you (what I mean is the choice of words), but it’s even better to help others to not even having to think about it, by being nice from the start. Try to thank people more! It’s very simple, it contributes to happiness, and it’s a very helpful word!

One way to find out if you despise someone without knowing or thinking about it yourself, is to pay attention when you hear someone speaking about that person, or when thinking about her/him. If you find yourself reacting with one side of your face, like lifting the eyebrow and the corner of your mouth slightly, that’s very often a sign of despise. It can be a very subtle move, but if you pay attention you can find it. And if you do, ask yourself why, and try thinking positively instead.

The more you think negatively of someone, and the more you speak ill of them, even if it’s someone you like and you just speak minor mean or bad things, maybe as a joke, it builds up in your subconsciousness, and eventually you might start despising or disliking the person, maybe even without knowing why.

So, try to have a positive attitude, be nice, not think or speak ill of people, and try to use nice words. Don’t forget “Thank you!” and “You’re welcome!”, and remember: You can’t control what people say to you, but you can control how you react to it!

  • Thanks!
  • You’re Welcome!
  • Observe your speaking
  • Observe your thinking
  • Be nice
  • Sound nice!
  • Speak well of others
  • Stop bad thoughts from building up

Do you observe yourself while speaking? Do you know anyone that’s really good at speaking nicely? Share this post with them to see what they think, and feel free to subscribe yourself! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post! Tweet