You cannot change your reality with your will.

You can only adapt yourself, you actions and your mindset toward it.

When you realize this, a lot (but maybe not all) of your anger, irritation, and thoughts of unfairness towards you will dissolve.

You will realize what you need to do, and do it, and do it without feeling annoyed about having to do something. The reality is as it is. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is. And you have to face it. All the time. Every day. All you can do is adapt, and take action if needed.

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Peaceful moment in silence.

Enjoy being. Being present.

I used to have music in my ears at all time except for when talking to other people. Really, to and from the bus I used my mp3-player. On the bus I used it. At work, school, home, in the car. The times when I just got to work and realized I’d forgotten my mp3-player or my ear phones, my day was ruined! I mean, who can work a full day without listening to music?

Well, I can now. And I even prefer to do it without music (at least my current job).

Since I started to actively trying to get to learn myself better, and be more present, the need for constant distraction has reduced greatly. I focus on what I do, and wether I have music or not while doing it doesn’t really matter any more. Being present in silence is spending time on yourself, whatever you’re doing. And also my ability to be present and focused increase  when I’m not distracted by music and sounds.

I write this even though I love music. I’ve played in several bands and I’ve been to lots of live shows, but there’s a time for music, and there’s a time for silence. My default mode has switched from listening to music to listening to and enjoying silence. Of course I still listen to music, but when I do, I put on music to listen to it, not to keep it as background noise, as a distraction.

The few times I get home by driving a car, when I stop outside the house and turn off the car, the silence is almost magical. It’s so intense and calming. It’s just you, coming home after a probably lively day (or just from having spent some time in a noisy car), and silence. I sit and breath deeply for a while before I get out, almost as getting ready to face the world again. But actually, I’m almost more present in the world in the silence and presence within the quiet car because there are so few distractions.

I believe that many people listen to music all the time during work and on the bus etc. because it feels like you’re a part of ‘it’ that way. That other people are listening to the same thing and that makes you connected to them the moment you also listen to it. It’s just that it doesn’t matter if you listen or not, you’re always part of the world. I think my ability to enjoy time without music has grown from having gotten to know myself better. Simply starting to enjoy spending time alone, or just being. The need for getting feedback that I’m part of ‘it’ is not there anymore.

Try spending some time in silence, intently forget your mp3-player,  try to spend just an hour without music at your work, or ride the bus without your ear phones plugged in! It might be a really pleasant experience! And also, it’s a very, very simple form of enjoying the moment! (And it’s cheap!)

Maybe you too enjoy spending time in silence and being present? Share this post, and feel free to subscribe yourself! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post!

Why do people think they need to own everything by themselves in their own yard, house, or even room?

Why do we think we need so big gardens and outdoor furniture just for ourselves when there are public gardens and woods and green areas outside?

Why do we think we need big houses or big gardens so we can move around freely inside them, when we can move as freely as we want outside?

Why do we think we need more furniture and kitchen wares for hosting guests, when we can visit others, or borrow and improvise (or have them bring their own stuff if possible)? Most of us doesn’t have guests that often anyways (At least not so many that the normal amount wouldn’t cover it anyway). What do we think makes us responsible for having enough stuff to support more than our own family? Sure a few extra can be a good idea (not just in case of guests, something might break!) but there’s a limit.

Why do we think we need our own copy of every book we’ve ever liked and read, instead of giving it away when we’re done reading it, or even borrowing it to start with, or reading it in a library?

When it comes to material stuff, let others complete your stuff (by borrowing) and let yourself complete other’s (by lending), instead of wasting resources and space on having your own copy of everything by yourself.

These are just a few examples, but there’re more things we could learn to not own and still have.

Are you storing stuff for others? Or have you stopped doing it? Share this post, and feel free to subscribe yourself! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post! Tweet

These days when I’m having a conversation, I do my best to observe myself. What language do I use? Do Isound rude without meaning it? Do I sayunnecessarymocking things without thinking about it? How’s the tone of my voice?

I’ve heard many times that it’s not only the words that speak, and I agree, but if that’s true, you should try to pay attention to the way you speak as well, and don’t hope for the other person to be a mind reader. You probably wouldn’t like that either.

How do you feel when you’re talking to someone? Is it someone you don’t like? Is it someone you don’t know but you’ve heard bad things about? Maybe it’s even someone you’ve liked for a long time, but you’ve started to feel differently about her/him? People tend to say untrue things about others very often, often even without knowing it themselves. Therefor try to get your own picture of the person instead. Your mind also often gets into the bad habit of making you believe things that aren’t true about others, sometimes even without reason. Don’t listen to it, find out the truth yourself!

Another thing is substitutes or the leaving out of common but very handy words, like “thank you” and “you’re welcome“. For example, “good” is not a very good substitute for “thanks”. When you say “good”, you don’t express gratitude to the other person in a way that they probably expect (even though expectations are overrated, don’t expect everyone else to have the same opinion), and the person who did something may get disappointed or sad. It signals that the action done was good, not that the person is appreciated for performing it. I think it’s good not to pay too much attention to what words being said to you (what I mean is the choice of words), but it’s even better to help others to not even having to think about it, by being nice from the start. Try to thank people more! It’s very simple, it contributes to happiness, and it’s a very helpful word!

One way to find out if you despise someone without knowing or thinking about it yourself, is to pay attention when you hear someone speaking about that person, or when thinking about her/him. If you find yourself reacting with one side of your face, like lifting the eyebrow and the corner of your mouth slightly, that’s very often a sign of despise. It can be a very subtle move, but if you pay attention you can find it. And if you do, ask yourself why, and try thinking positively instead.

The more you think negatively of someone, and the more you speak ill of them, even if it’s someone you like and you just speak minor mean or bad things, maybe as a joke, it builds up in your subconsciousness, and eventually you might start despising or disliking the person, maybe even without knowing why.

So, try to have a positive attitude, be nice, not think or speak ill of people, and try to use nice words. Don’t forget “Thank you!” and “You’re welcome!”, and remember: You can’t control what people say to you, but you can control how you react to it!

  • Thanks!
  • You’re Welcome!
  • Observe your speaking
  • Observe your thinking
  • Be nice
  • Sound nice!
  • Speak well of others
  • Stop bad thoughts from building up

Do you observe yourself while speaking? Do you know anyone that’s really good at speaking nicely? Share this post with them to see what they think, and feel free to subscribe yourself! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post! Tweet

"Deep inside, it's always my time" - Cry of a Restless Soul, Lost Horizon

Yesterday I dropped my wallet. It was about 40 000 yen (about 3000 sek) and my room key in it. I  was just about to enter the supermarket when I took off my bag and opened the outer pocket on my bag. Strangely enough, the wallet wasn’t there, so I searched the other pockets as well but didn’t find it. My thoughts went something like: “Oh well, I guess I dropped it. I’d be nice if the manager was home so I can get into my room when I get back”, and started walking home. My heart didn’t even flinch.

This might sound a bit careless, but really, I feel great about having acted so calmly! 40k yen is quite some money, but worrying wouldn’t have helped me getting them back. If I’d worried, the only thing that would’ve happened is that I’d be poorer AND feel worse. My general thought of the situation were: “I’ll do what I can to get it back, and if I can’t, I’ll just have to live with it”.

When I got home I told some friends in the living room that I’d lost my wallet, one of them checked up the number to the café (excelsior!) where I thought I’d lost it, I contacted them and told them that I’d probably lost my wallet there, and they said they’d look for it. Then I used my friend’s window to cross over the roof over to my window and into my own room, so at least the key didn’t turn out to be a problem!

I fell asleep later that night without a thought about it.

I know many people that wouldn’t have been able to do that, and some people  even told me I was crazy for not worrying about it. But why? Accept the moment as it is, and make the best of it. It’s really the ONLY thing you can do! Even If you worry about it, or if you accept it as it is, it doesn’t change the situation. It’ll be 100% the same either way, except for your mental and physical well-being. And I prefer having my mental and physical well-being in good shape. Accepting the moment doesn’t mean that you just drop it, not trying to change it, not at all. You can do that all you want to fix it (probably even should, if you don’t like it), but with energy and calmness in your mind and heart.

Having a clear mind without stress or worry is probably also gonna help you do the best of the situation. You can think clearer, act clearer, and you can sleep soundly at night, giving you energy enough to fix the problems you might have.

In this case:

  • What about the money I would’ve had if I hadn’t dropped it!? – That’s a fantasy future you’ve made up. It’s in your head, and it’s not real. Stop worrying about it.
  • But I HAD them! – That’s in the past. It’s not the truth anymore. Drop it, accept the moment as it is and act mindfully and appropriately the way you think will most likely get them back.

In the end, I got my wallet back. I went to the café after school, they remembered me from the phone the day before and returned it to me. I thanked them heartedly and celebrated by getting a coffee. It was really tasty! Even if I hadn’t gotten it back, I’d still be happy for not having worried about it, and for having made my present more important than my past and my fantasy future!

Every moment of your life is your life, moments of awesome and moments of not awesome all the same. Honor all moments of your life by not worrying about moments that are not!

If you feel you can accept the moment and not worry, or if you like the idea of feeling calm and peaceful all the time, feel free to subscribe! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post! Tweet

This is a normal morning train in the Tokyo area.When I went to school today, I didn’t get very far at first. When I arrived at the station the first sign that the trip was gonna take a bit longer than normal was that it was quite crowded. That is, you had to push yourself to get through the crowd of people to even get to the station. I heard in the speakers that the train wouldn’t be up and running for another 30-40 minutes, so I thought, why not take a walk to the next station? Instead of getting stressed out, angry or irritated, I just started walking to the next station, enjoying being outside.

But wasn’t I going to be late? Oh yeah, big time. It took me 3 hours to even get to the school, and even though I usually get there 1 hour before it starts, I missed the first class by getting 1 hour late. But there was nothing I could do about it. I texted my teacher saying I was gonna be late, and then I started practicing being present and calm, some mind practice. Why feel stressed out and angered for getting late when it’s gonna happen anyway? Just be present, adapt to make yourself feel better and calm and you’ll get where you’re going anyway, feeling refreshed and happy instead of tired and having a worried stomach.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, try to focus and turn it into a practice instead. Be the master of the moment! (“Moment Master”, it sounds pretty awesome to me). If you like being in control of things, then this is just perfect for you! I know it isn’t easy, and it might not work in all situations for everyone, but in most cases of stressing moments, like the example I just brought up -being late-, it will work just awesomely. Try focus on your breathing, the feeling of air going through your nose (or mouth if you prefer it). Try thinking of awesome things, or how great your breakfast tasted (if you had one. If you didn’t, you should start having it, you’ll feel less hungry, and it’s easier to get stressed out on an empty stomach). Instead of thinking how stupid and annoying the people around you are, just because they’re in your way of getting on time, try to imagine their situations; They’re probably getting late too, and they probably got to the station well on time, just as you did, to get where they’re going. They’re all in the same situation as you, and they’re not trying to piss you off just by being there. No matter how angry or irritated or stressed out you get, you won’t get there faster. And being stressed out and angry requires energy, so you’ll probably end up hungry as well, and no one likes being hungry. (Maybe some people do, but I don’t know anyone who does).

Just compare these pictures of me:

Me being calm, at peace, one with the world :')

Me, being calm, at peace, one with the world :')

Me, being angry, mad at the traffic and all the stupid people around me! GRR!!!

Me, being angry, mad at the traffic and all the stupid people around me! GRR! >: (

Which one looks like he’ll be having the better day? I don’t know about you, but I’d be betting my pot of gold on the calm one.

If you also got stuck in the traffic but stayed calm and peaceful, or if you like the idea of feeling calm and peaceful all the time anyways, feel free to subscribe! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post! Tweet

Look how nice this forest is. How could you possibly enjoy it if you were away in thoughts at the same time? You probably wouldn't!

A little more than a week ago I was sitting at a café with a friend, having a talk about ideas and thoughts of life, and he brought up that he’d read an awesome book, which was one of the things that got him started to really think about life and living in a new way. Since he mentioned that it was one of the most important and interesting books he’d ever read, I felt I had to read it.

I’m in the middle of it right now, and it’s hard to express how awesome it is, because I don’t think that I quite understand even myself how great it is yet.

It’s about the present moment. To fully live and understand the thing about the present moment, that everything that happens in your life happens now, and only now, and you will only experience things in the present moment. Not in the future or in the past, those are things in your mind, but all you really will experience is your now. It sounds so simple and so obvious but it’s at the same time so damn hard to actually grasp that your life is, always has been and always will be NOW.

If you think it’s obvious and easy, try to stay focused for just one minute in the present moment, without slipping away with thoughts about the future, the past or some other fantasy. I tell you, it’s pretty darn hard. You would think that it should be the easiest thing in the world to just sit or stand or do anything at all, and at the same time not think about something else, but it’s surprising how much harder it is than you imagined.

Sometimes I think I have grasp of the present moment, but then I find myself thinking of things far away from now, like what I’ll do when school in Japan is over, what I want to do in the future, what I’ve done the last couple of days or even years ago, even though I thought I was fully present at the time. It’s scary, and it’s something I’m trying to pay attention to every day, every moment.

How much time do we waste thinking about things that’ve already happend, or that might happen (but probably won’t, at least not in the way we’re imagining it), instead of focusing on what’s our real lives, that is, the present moment?

(Btw, there’s a fat earthquake going on while I’m writing this (NOW!), I love how it gets my adrenaline pumpin’!)

If you also feel weirded out the idea of the present moment (or maybe you’re already there?), (or are experiencing earthquakes right NOW!), feel free to subscribe! And also feel free to follow me on twitter and retweet this post! Tweet