Sometimes I find myself thinking without taking any active part of it myself. My thoughts are being thought for me, all thoughts are just reactions to my surroundings. You might also have felt this way, because it’s thoughts you’ve been taught to have. Many times people around you and society teach you that you have to get angry if this happens, and you should be sad if that happens etc.

When I find myself thinking on reflex like that I try to take a break. Feel my surroundings, look at my hands, really be there in the moment being aware that life and everything is now. It’s a really powerful and energizing feeling when you manage and it gives you the feeling that you have the power to choose. More than a feeling actually, the truth.

You’re free to choose how you act on things, how you react, how you think, how you want to do things. Maybe some people will disagree with your ways or try to make you change into reacting “the way you should”. Because even if it makes you feel worse, it’s the “right” way to think.

Is it really? I propose that it might just be a common way to think. But then many people today are unhappy or stressed out. Considering that, breaking from the common way of thinking might just be a very good idea and may have many good effects on your mental and physical well-being.

Many things today we think of differently than we did a couple of years ago, not not to mention a 100 years ago and even further back. Not just as persons but as humans. People’s and society’s way of seeing things have also changed throughout the years. The way we think isn’t decided for us, it’s dynamic and we’re free to choose.

Try to observe your thoughts in situations where you usually think on reflex. Situations when you usually get sad, irritated or angry, and just pause. Take a deep breath and ask yourself if you can’t react in a way that would make you feel better. This does not include thinking of how to take revenge on something bad something did to you, because it might feel a bit better for a second but anger will eventually create guilt, and guilt does not make you feel better. Instead think of how you could change your thoughts right now to make you feel easier on the inside. Maybe you won’t feel happy, but at least at peace.

If you don’t succeed this time, forgive yourself and apologize if you got angry or irritated to whatever or whomever you got angry at, even if it’s just silently inside your head. It will release a lot of stress and you will feel easier on the inside. Then try again the next time.